Contributed by: Jet on Wednesday, January 08 2014 @ 06:49 am
Last modified on
It can be tough to get back on the dating horse after a relationship tumble. For many, online dating is a way to ease back in slowly. Since you’re just perusing profiles, not approaching people in person, you can move at your own pace, without risk of rejection.
However, once you start to send first-contact emails, you’re back in the world of contact with humans once again. And while many still find online dating to be easier in terms of rejection, there’s a certain amount of “toughening up” you might want to prepare for.
Etiquette is slightly different on online dating websites. Whereas in person you’re expected to give a polite, thoughtful response no matter what your level of attraction, it’s not uncommon in online dating for your potential match to suddenly disappear or break off contact without warning. No, they probably haven’t been abducted by aliens or moved into Witness Protection - they’ve just decided they’re not interested. Once you’re used to this cultural difference, you’re not likely not going to spend much time wondering what happened - after all, you’d never even met in person - but it’s still a form of rejection, and it can still sting, especially the first time.
Online dating is still mostly anonymous, and some choose to take advantage of that by forgetting their manners. While downright abusive emails are not unheard of, they’re not exactly common. Still, it isn’t unusual to come across any number of lesser remarks that are loaded with “blunt honesty” - comments on appearance, age, interests, and more. Again, for many such comments “come with the territory” and are so much water off a duck’s back; why should you care about a cowardly boor on the internet? But if you’re new to online dating, or especially new to the internet, it can be a bit of a shock.
So as you prepare to plunge into the dating pool, ask yourself honestly: are you ready to face rejection, even if it’s in the form of no response? Are you ready to ignore emails that might be out of line, or will you be genuinely hurt by the slightest criticism? There’s no shame in understanding your own limits. Online dating is meant to be more efficient and easier; if it would only be harder for you, there’s nothing wrong with waiting or looking elsewhere. On the other hand, sometimes knowledge is all we need to toughen our armor; being aware of the less polite aspects of online dating might be all you need to be prepared.