Contributed by: kellyseal on Saturday, September 10 2016 @ 04:12 pm
Last modified on
It’s 2016, and most of us lead pretty busy lives. We are constantly on our phones, making to-do lists, pursuing career ambitions, and taking care of family members to the point where sometimes it feels like there’s no free time, especially for dating. Dating can sometimes feel like a chore, or worse – a waste of time when you aren’t meeting anyone who clicks.
But before you give up on dating and proclaim yourself too busy, try taking a different approach.
Think about the process from your potential date’s perspective. Do you seem hard to pin down to schedule a date? Are you squeezing your dates in to 20-minute coffee shop dates to avoid wasting time? Are you only half-paying attention when you are on a date?
If so, you might be sending out a signal to potential mates that you’re just not that interested, and even more to the point - not that available.
I understand that most of us have longer hours and bigger ambitions than in the past. We have side projects, hobbies, and interests that we'd rather pursue. I also know that many distractions take up precious time, such as social media and Netlfix binging. But if you take a step back and focus on your goals – specifically your romantic and personal goals – you might realize that dating is getting cheated in terms of its priority in your life. Ask yourself: do you truly want a relationship, and are you willing to make time for it?
Here’s a hard fact: you can’t get to the relationship without going on the dates first. That’s just how it is. Even if you hire a matchmaker to filter people, you still have to make the time and be emotionally available to date, or you'll be spinning your wheels.
Following are some tips to help you organize your personal life:
Understand your time limits.
Maybe you have kids to care for, or you have a job that requires a lot of travel. Instead of discounting dating as an option, try figuring out where it can fit in – you’d be doing the same thing with a relationship in terms of finding time to see your significant other. Make the time, and get creative if you have to. Ask your friend to babysit one Saturday afternoon, or look at your calendar and schedule dates in advance when you'll be in town.
Don’t fall back on your busy schedule.
I know many people’s default response is to talk about how busy they are. It’s almost a badge of honor. But when you’re dating, your date will want to know how available you are, not how busy. They will want to see if you have time to spend together, for the relationship to grow. So curb the busy talk and start being more in the moment, and open to how your day (and date) may unfold.
Be prompt.
Don’t wait to text back, or to schedule the next date because you don’t want to seem too “available.” Dating moves fast, especially online, so if you snooze, you lose. Make yourself available, and keep on top of your messages. Say yes!