Contributed by: ElyseRomano on Sunday, March 22 2015 @ 10:21 am
Last modified on
Just when you think you've got this dating thing figured out, you enter a new stage of life and everything gets flipped on its head.
Life in your early 20s was very different from life in your late 20s. Both still have some sense of freedom and finding yourself, but things change as you approach 30. You're more comfortable with who you are and have a better idea of where you're going. You're older (duh) but also wiser, and that means a shift in who and how you date.
Dating in your late 20s/early 30s is a different game with a whole new set of rules. Like:
Expand your reach. When you were younger, you probably looked for dates in the same few places. College parties. Your classes. Local bars. But now that you're older, you have starting looking elsewhere – including places you never thought you'd look. Put yourself out there in ways you never thought you would, whether that means taking a tango class or joining an online dating site.
Be direct with your dates. If casual dating is your thing, keep with it. But if you're in the market for something more serious, you have to put in the work to find it. The sooner you can separate the good ones from the horror stories you'll tell your friends later, the better. You have to be upfront with your dates. Don't think of it as “coming on too strong” - you're being honest about what you want (and what your dates want) so you know right away if you're not compatible and no one's time is wasted.
Stand firm with friends and family. This is usually the age when friends and family start peppering you with questions. So...are you seeing anyone? Do you plan to settle down? Don't you want children? Why are you still single? They mean well, but it will probably make you want to throw things at them. There's probably nothing you can do to stop the questions – even if you know you aren't ready for those steps or know that you never want them – but you can be prepared. Come armed with answers you've worked out ahead of time when you know those questions are likely on the way.
Don't compare yourself with others. Whether or not you get those questions, insecurities have a way of creeping up. Your life changes dramatically in your late 20s and early 30s, and so do the lives of everyone around you. Just look at your Facebook feed – engagement photos, wedding photos, baby photos. Wash, rinse, repeat. If you're there and your friends are still getting wasted on Friday nights, that's ok. If you're not there and everyone else seems to be getting hitched and buying houses, that's ok too. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time for your life.