Contributed by: Sebastian Harris on Wednesday, December 16 2015 @ 02:01 pm
Last modified on
Believing that you can’t meet and attract beautiful women as an introvert is one of the biggest mistakes you can possibly make.
Okay, I get it. You are told that you have to be the outgoing alpha in order to succeed with the ladies. You are told that women are attracted to extroverted guys.
Well, what if everything you have been told is nothing but a big fat lie?
The belief that only the extroverted, loud and social guys can succeed in the dating game is the result of a big misconception when it comes to the definition of introversion. Unfortunately, a lot of people believe that introverts are naturally insecure, socially awkward and really weird communication partners.
Well, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am an introvert and one of the qualities that my friends appreciate so much about me is my ability to listen and to allow deep conversations. What most men don’t realize is that the only difference between an introvert and an extrovert is the fact that the introvert charges his batteries when he is on his own and the extroverts derives energy from being around other people.
Unfortunately, most introverted men don’t know this and still believe that something is wrong with them and that they are destined to be socially awkward. As a result, they try to hide their introversion by pretending to be extroverted, which only leads to uncalibrated behavior and eventually to being awkward.
If they would only understand that it is okay to be themselves around other people and that trying to be different is what leads to awkward behavior, their success with women would skyrocket. In case you are an introvert you have to understand that you are okay and that being introverted is okay.
Being introverted is not the problem. The real problem is denying that you are introverted. The lack of confidence in yourself and in who you really are is what sabotages your success with women.
Stop pretending to be an extrovert. You have to understand that the qualities you can offer a woman are valuable. You don’t have to be ashamed of who you are. In fact, you should be proud of who you are and what you can offer to other people.
Once you understand that it is okay to be introverted it is time to break free from the fears that you have carried around for decades. Face your fear of being the introvert in an extroverted environment and reach a level of social freedom that most extroverts will never experience.
Are you afraid of nightclubs? Then go there and face your fears. Go there as an introvert, not as an introvert with an extroverted mask. It’s time to face your fears by being yourself, even when that means reading a book in the middle of a nightclub (I’ve actually done that and I got approached by a lot of women who couldn’t believe that I had the balls to do that).
Did you face your fears and did you realize that there is nothing wrong about being the introvert in an environment full of extroverts?
Awesome, then you are ready for the next step. You are ready to embrace and to live your authenticity. Go to places that allow you to live your authenticity and to meet girls who want to get to know your authentic self.
As an introvert I actually enjoy going to nightclubs to have a good time with my friends, but that doesn’t mean that I would look for a girlfriend in this environment. To be honest, going to clubs to pick up girls is a very bad idea if you are an introverted person.
Don’t believe me? Then try to have a meaningful conversation in a quiet park with a girl who needs attention, alcohol and loud music to feel alive. You are better off going to a book store and to approach a girl who is also introverted and who therefore values your personality much more than a girl who needs to go out at least twice a week.
When it is time to take action and to approach your introverted dream girl, you don’t have to do what the extroverts do. It is completely unnecessary to bombard her with words. You don’t have to be loud as long as you are effective.
You only use a few words, but you use words that matter. No fluff, no small talk and no crazy pick-up lines. An honest and simple approach is enough. I know that you have been conditioned by YouTube that girls love the dancing monkey who spins them around, but that is not true.
The dancing monkey might be able to produce a popular video with a laughing and smiling girl, but the guy who is able to have a deep and meaningful conversation with her will be the one who gets her on a date.
I hope you enjoyed this excursion into the introverted world. In case you want to read the article that inspired the above lines you can check it out here[*1] .