Contributed by: Jet on Saturday, November 30 2013 @ 08:25 am
Last modified on
We spend a lot of time thinking about what to put in our online dating profiles. After all, we’re trying to encapsulate our entire personality, with multiple facets, into a few paragraphs. It’s a task we take seriously, so perhaps it shouldn’t come as a surprise that our profiles can get a little, well, serious.
So much of online dating is actually introspective: what am I really looking for? What kind of person am I, really? What are my strengths and weaknesses? This type of thought is truly a positive thing, and a wonderful way to let you figure out your priorities and send you on the path to a successful relationship. That being said, while it can be an excellent writing exercise, your deep thoughts do not have to be on your profile, published for the world to see.
Here’s the thing: no one’s expecting to have a life-changing moment from a profile. They’re not going to have an epiphany about life, or fall instantly in love. In fact, you don’t want someone to fall instantly in love with your writing; you want them to fall in love with you, when you meet in person. The writing’s just to reassure them that you sound like you might have a good time together if you meet.
This is, incidentally, the reason why you also strive to keep a first-contact email short and sweet. Too long and you’re likely trying to forge a connection that doesn’t need to be there yet. By limiting the first-contact email to a few sentences, you’re forced to keep the content light and fun.
You can’t predict whether you’ll ultimately have chemistry with a given person, so when you’re agreeing to that first date, would you rather have fun, or be greeted with intensity and probing questions? The profile is hinting that the date will go one way or the other.
So as you write your profile and first-contact emails, try to keep the gloom, doom and introspection to a minimum. It doesn’t mean you’re presenting a shallow facade, nor do you have to change your actual behavior. Think of it this way: working through problems in therapy is wonderful - but you don’t need to relay every step of that on your profile, either. Why not let readers see the polished, enlightened final product instead?