Contributed by: Jet on Saturday, October 12 2013 @ 10:40 am
Last modified on
It’s easy to over-inflate an online dating profile; we start writing, we get carried away on a stream of consciousness, and the next thing we know we’ve written a novella that suddenly seems necessary. Alas, most readers won’t find such length necessary, and they’ll move on after a glance. So how do we streamline our profiles? One fast and easy way: look for redundancy.
Redundancy doesn’t mean repetition within the profile, though of course that could be edited too. No, instead this requires a little thinking - not about yourself, but about your intended audience: those who have signed up on an online dating site.
Thus, the first, most redundant statement is probably something along the lines of: “I’m looking for love.” No kidding! So is everyone else. Now, there are exceptions; if you’re looking for something different from the general culture of the site, it’s best to spell it out. So if you’re looking for a one-night stand on a site that prides itself in matches ending in marriage, you might want to clarify your intentions. If you know you’re in the vast majority, however, it might be best to stay silent on the matter. Your profile’s very existence is doing the talking for you.
Similarly, when it comes time to talk about what you’re looking for, possibly the most redundant statement is a variation on the following: “I’m looking for someone attractive.” First, that’s another no-brainer - of course you’d like to date someone you find attractive. Secondly, it’s not a helpful statement: everyone’s definition of attractive is subjective anyway, so you’re not actually narrowing the field much. And finally, it can make you appear shallow; everyone values appearance, but you value it so much that you’re actually talking about it.
Talking about the physical side of romance in your profile is a related, and even less classy, cousin. When people say they’re looking for love, or a long-term relationship, everything that goes with that is implied (unless, again, you’re looking for something different from the norm). Specifying your skills or preferences in this arena is the equivalent of moving too quickly - or boldly propositioning someone in person before you’ve even said hello. Sure, it might work for some people in some circumstances, but understand the risks before you go that route.
Why is eliminating redundant statements important? Well, you’re shortening your profile, for one thing. By removing the bits that don’t need to be there, you’re highlighting what’s left. But also, because these concepts are so understood, when you leave them in you’re running the risk of coming across as cliched, cheesy, or crude. There’s nothing wrong with starting with a cliched statement to get the creative juices flowing - but when it comes down to the final draft, are you making redundant statements?