Contributed by: kellyseal on Wednesday, November 06 2013 @ 06:49 am
Last modified on
Dating can be tricky, and not just because it's hard to meet people and potentially enter into a new relationship. Dating has changed in the past few years, so much so that many people are choosing to be more relaxed about it, preferring to "hang out" instead of putting forth the effort to make it an official date.
Hanging out is a broad term that could mean you are getting together as friends, as a hook-up, or as potential romantic partners, making dating even more confusing than it already is. In addition, hanging out could mean going out together one-on-one or going out as a group, making the dating waters even murkier.
So what should you do if you're constantly being asked to "hang out," rather than go on a proper date?
This can be tricky, since the terms are becoming more interchangeable. I think the main point to consider is what exactly you want. Are you happy to have a lot of friends, maybe with some benefits? Are you looking to date, but not exclusively? Or are you seeking a long-term relationship?
It's very important to know what you want when you're single. You are the only one who can set up boundaries for yourself - nobody else is going to draw them for you. So if it irritates you that the men you like want to just "hang out" and see if something happens after a few beers or cocktails, then don't agree to this. If you prefer being asked out and meeting each other one-on-one (on a date), let him know. If he's not interested, then it's better to know early than to go down a murky road of getting together from time to time, not knowing if he's interested in you or what exactly he wants.
If he's uncomfortable with the idea of dating, or if you both are, then consider it an experiment. Try doing something together instead of having dinner and worrying about what to say to each other. Maybe you can ride bikes, or see a game, or check out an art museum.
Try to take the pressure off of yourselves by thinking of a date as simply a meeting to get to know each other. Maybe you're interested, maybe you're not, and that's okay - it is the point of having a date - to see if there's any chemistry between you.
If you'd rather date in a group, or prefer the casual approach of hanging out and seeing what happens, then it's your choice, too. Just make sure you know what you want, and that you're not just accepting something that makes you uncomfortable. Life and romance are too short to play games or to sit around and wait. Take charge of your romantic life now.