Dating App Users Want Digital Consent When Communicating with Matches
Contributed by: kellyseal on Thursday, May 19 2022 @ 08:08 am
Last modified on Thursday, May 19 2022 @ 09:04 am
Many dating app users have complained about getting unsolicited nude photos, and are now demanding digital consent before a communicating with a match.
Dating apps have been struggling with what to do about this issue for a while, but since the pandemic attracted many new users to dating apps, the problem has grown. According to The New York Post[*1] , A World Wide Web Foundation survey found that 52 percent of young women and girls said they had experienced online abuse, including threatening messages, sexual harassment and being sent lewd photos without consent. A whopping majority of 87 percent said they believe the issue is only getting worse.
Dating app Bumble launched a feature called Private Detector to counteract this problem. Private Detector works with AI to detect when a nude photo is sent and blurs the picture before the recipient can see it, allowing them to block and report the user without having to see it first.
The female-empowered dating company has taken a legal approach as well, working with legislators in different states in the U.S. to get laws passed that make it illegal for people to send unsolicited lewd photos. So far, Texas has passed the law and Virginia seems poised to make the same move.
Both Match Group and Bumble have also offered some guidelines for having conversations about consent and setting boundaries. Match’s guidelines[*2] include:
- “Understanding that uninvited sexual comments are not compliments”
- “Accepting romantic and sexual rejection with grace,” which means to stop sending messages to matches when they’ve already let you know they aren’t interested, and to stop trying to find them on another platform if they’ve already blocked you.
- “Consent is not permanent.” This means expressing consent each time you communicate with a match (not just once), so you both are open and on the same page as to what you want and what the expectations are of the other person as the communication moves forward.
Bumble offers some conversation starters for asking for consent without “dampening the mood.” (The guidelines[*3] instruct to specifically ask if it’s ok to send a nude photo before actually sending it.):
- “I feel like there’s something between us here. Would you be interested in sexting with me?”
- “I’m really enjoying this conversation a lot. Would you like to take it to a more intimate level? I’d love to tell you what I’d do if we were together right now.”