Contributed by: Jet on Friday, January 03 2014 @ 07:12 am
Last modified on
It’s hard to participate in online dating without a profile. For many, however, the profile is exactly what’s keeping them from joining in. The problem? Before even typing their first word, they check out other profiles and decide their lives aren’t glamorous or adventurous enough. “I’m just a regular person with a regular life,” they might think. “No one will look twice at me.”
In reality, what’s holding them back is not their “regular” life - it’s their perception of it. Very few people are supermodels or brain surgeons or paleontologists; of those who are, very few live lives comparable to what you’d see on TV. Meanwhile, people with perfectly average lives find love every day. So what are they doing differently?
For some, it’s all about attitude. Think about some of the jobs considered “exciting” that were just mentioned: brain surgery, paleontology. Why might these jobs be considered glamorous or exciting? Because they’ve been featured on TV and in movies. More to the point, we’ve seen people who were passionate about their work, and it stuck with us. Pretty much any job can be exciting, if you’re excited about it and let it show.
But let’s be honest: not everyone is excited about their job. Not everyone has a job. And that’s okay too: chances are, there’s something they’re still passionate about, whether it’s a hobby or a dream or a goal. Everyone’s lives contain varying amounts of excitement; the key is to let what you love define you, not just your vital statistics.
“Well, fine,” some might think, “but I still have to talk about my job and it’s obvious I don’t love it.” Firstly, you don’t necessarily have to go into any amount of detail; in fact, many specifically avoid doing so for security or identity concerns. You’re searching for someone with a compatible personality, not a compatible career.
Secondly, there’s no reason why you can’t be honest about the fact that you’re not nuts about your job, or job status. There’s no shame in saying you’re working as a means to an end, or that other parts of your life are more important, or that you’re actively searching. Those who would be less interested in you for being honest and open aren’t worth pursuing, anyway.
So when you write your online dating profile, don’t feel trapped if you don’t feel you fit the right “mold.” Remember: you’re not competing for Most Successful. All you’re trying to do is find someone who’s a good fit for you - and perhaps such a person is a little “average,” too.