"Online dating coach" sounds like a lofty, vaunted profession, but every online dating coach has to start somewhere. In Erika case, that somewhere was as an online dater herself. She shared the story of her journey from dater to dating expert with YourTango in Day Thirteen[*1] of the online dating bootcamp.
Erika's journey began with JDate. She'd dabbled in online dating before, but never took the experiment seriously. This time around, though, things were different. She perfected her profile, chose photos wisely, and revamped e-mails until her "hit rate" - the percentage of men who responded to her initial email - was over 60%.
After more than 120 dates, on December 4, 2009, Erika met Jeremy, the man who would be her last JDate. Her success story inspired her to found a coaching company that guides daters who need a bit of extra help finding love online. Now she shares the expertise she learned on her personal journey with singles looking for an online dating success story of their own.
Here are a few of the most lessons she reveals to her clients:
- Keep your pre-date "research" to a minimum. It's pretty much impossible to resist the temptation to search a date on Google or Facebook - and it could even save you from dating a criminal - but don't go overboard. Don't form a firm impression of someone until you meet them in person.
- "Research" does NOT including friending them on Facebook. Friending a date before the actual date is never a good idea. And come to think of it, neither is friending them right after the first date. There's plenty of time for adding each other on social networks after the relationship is more established.
- Take a "Less is more" approach to photos on your profile. Match.com may allow you to upload 26 photos, but that doesn't mean you need to do it! Stick to a few that show you in your most flattering light, and save the rest for your Facebook profile.
- Have one picture that's "email bait." An email bait photo shows you doing something interesting, something that will catch a prospective date's attention and prompt them to ask you questions. Writing that first message is hard, so a little help breaking the ice goes a long way.
- Don't leave success up to fate. With all those personality tests and matching algorithms, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the dating site will do the work for you. It won't. Sure, part of love is luck, but a lot of it isn't. Most things in life that require work are worth the outcome, so take an active role in your search for love.
For more information about this Jewish dating service you can read our JDate review.
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