Contributed by: ElyseRomano on Friday, June 01 2012 @ 10:00 am
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Ever wished you could take a crash course on online dating? Well, now you can.
YourTango[*1] has created a 14-day program of expert advice, videos, photo galleries, and more, to guide you through the process of online dating from start to finish. The program answers pressing questions like "Is online dating really worthwhile?" and "Which online dating site is right for you?" The series also offers advice on safety, first date etiquette, dating over 40, and finding Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Day Two gets straight to the juicy info of the bootcamp with an interview with Joe Amoia, a dating coach based in New Jersey. The question of the day was "Is online dating really worthwhile?" Amoia believes the answer is yes, although it isn't always easy.
The number one complaint for online daters, he says, is discouragement. Both men and women can lose faith in online dating after trying it out and having bad experiences. As those negative experiences pile up, the unlucky-in-love daters become totally disillusioned with Internet dating and adopt a "been there, done that" attitude.
Amoia's advice for daters looking to have a more effective experience online is to be specific. Come to online dating with a clear idea of what you're looking for in a mate, a mindset that Amoia calls "starting with the end in mind." What's your purpose? What are you looking to get out of online dating? Is it a fun, casual fling? Is it someone to walk down the aisle with? When you know what you want, it's easier to identify if the people you're talking to online have real potential as partners.
The secret to finding dates with real compatibility is reading between the profile lines. "If you know what to look for," says Amoia, "the red flags are there and they're usually glaring." Having the same taste in movies or music is a plus, but superficial characteristics like those aren't going to contribute to the long-term success of a relationship. Amoia suggests reading profiles with this question in mind: Is this the kind of person I would like to get to know better?
Ask that question repeatedly during the process of getting to know a date. Ask it as you read their profile. Ask it as you exchange emails. Ask it as you talk on the phone. Ask it on your first date. The more times you can answer "yes" as you get to know each other, the better chance you have of being truly compatible.
Related Story: YourTango Online Dating Bootcamp: Day Three