Contributed by: EFoley on Tuesday, September 15 2009 @ 09:26 am
Last modified on
Guys, ever read through profiles on your favorite dating site and said, "Dang, these girls have BAD ATTITUDES!! They all have this paragraph of reasons NOT to write! What gives?"
To answer this question, let's take a look at the average woman's experience with online dating.
Enter Girl Average
Girl Average is ... well, average. She's girl-next-door cute, but not a knockout supermodel. As far as her profile, she's got the typical interests of a person in her age group. Sports, dining out, movies, hiking, nothing terribly out of the ordinary.
As soon as her profile goes live, Girl Average begins to receive anywhere from 1-10 emails a day. This is because her profile is flagged "new" by her dating site and her mug is being featured in both search results and in emails to the guys who have requested to see fresh meat via email as soon as it's available. The email storm dies down once the new batch of fresh meat goes live on the site.
A lot of these emails will be from trigger happy men who are hoping to "scoop" her off the market before other, better guys come along. They think that a totally sweet pickup line or a compliment about how she fills out her sweater is the way to woo a girl. They also totally ignore any indications that they're the wrong guy.
"So what if she says she doesn't want guys over 35? I'm a young 52!"
"She won't mind that I'm a high school dropout when she sees my pecs!"
"I won't mention my divorce isn't final yet. Hopefully she won't ask..."
I remember one email I received very vividly, because it was both ridiculous and hilarious. It was in the first week that I'd activated my Love@AOL account (back in the day before they were eaten by Match.com). I received an email that I can quote from beginning to end:
Subject: Hey
U R hot. Email me.
Oh, and that's not the end of it. The attachment was a picture he had taken of himself. Wait, it gets better. He was holding the camera between his legs. Oh, that's not it! You could see the tip of his... member, large as life, at the bottom of the photo. In fact, the camera focused more on that than his face, which was a bit fuzzy in the background.
Now, I'm no prude, but sending me a picture of your junk along with an email where you can't be bothered to spell out the words "you" and "are" does not make me leap to email you back. Especially not when there are better, more articulate men in my mailbox who are going to wait until we know each other better before revealing the cash n' prizes.
The more traditionally attractive the woman, the more of these ridiculous emails she receives. And actually, the more attractive the woman, the more ridiculous the emails become. It's no wonder that women online are adding this "bad attitude paragraphs to their profiles - they're trying to get fewer of these ridiculous emails!!
If you're guilty of sending these emails - STOP IT. Seriously. Give your dating life more thought and care and stop bothering these women, especially if you know you'd have no chance of being with them.
If you're not guilty - I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry that the lesser members of your gender are ruining things for you and turning the women of your dating site into jaded, picky ... witches. (Hey, it's almost October, right?) If you see a profile you really like that ends with one of these paragraphs, consider emailing the woman anyway. Chances are if you match her and you write something personalized and thoughtful, she'll turn out to be a good witch.