Contributed by: Jet on Tuesday, May 04 2010 @ 09:44 am
Last modified on
In recent years, much attention has been paid to “pick-up artist” techniques, even spurring a reality show on VH1. I've never been a fan of them. Indeed, I think if you're looking for more than a quick hook-up you're wasting your time, because much of “the Game” is posturing – even more than your average “let's get dressed up and pretend this is our everyday look” sort of fakery. Most importantly, I find most pick-up artist techniques disrespectful to women, the men utilizing the techniques, even relationships in general. Here's the funny thing, though: By and large, the techniques of pick-up artists do not work on online dating profiles.
The reasons for this are many. For one thing, one of the most well-known PUA strategies is something called a “neg” - a backhanded comment. The general premise is that by essentially insulting a woman, you're demonstrating your confidence, and therefore increasing your desirability. As you might imagine, hitting the right amount of sarcasm and humor is key here, or else... well, or else you've just insulted a woman.
Two things least likely to translate well on the Internet? Humor and sarcasm. Not that people don't try – trust me, I've read some profiles that might sound hilarious if performed, but on the screen they just seem angry and bitter. If I'm comparing someone whose “wit” seems to be abusing those around him, and someone who's honest and maybe a little self-deprecating, I'll be willing to go for the honest one, every time. The bitter guy might be funny in person... or he could be exactly as he sounds on his profile. It's a gamble I'm not willing to take. I don't think I'm alone here, either.
Fuzzy interpretation isn't the only problem when attempting to “pick up” online; clarity can be a problem as well. When PUA's try to pick up girls in public, they're often full of distractions; eye-catching fashion, props to use as conversation starters, even other friends to act as “wing man.” There's an overload of stimulus when it comes to these people.
Compare this to what you get online: pictures you can study and which diminish the mystique of a character; an absence of “wing men”; a reliance on self-reflection and self-esteem. Rather than pumping themselves up by putting down those around them, a PUA has to make himself (or herself!) look good on his own merits.
Will there be those who attempt to use PUA techniques online? Maybe so – but good luck to them, because they'll need it.