Contributed by: kellyseal on Friday, July 12 2013 @ 07:19 am
Last modified on
Admittedly, many women have spent way too much time with the wrong man at least once in our lives. If we really want a relationship to work, we will make all kinds of justifications and excuses for a man's behavior - just because we don't want to leave. Unfortunately, this prolongs our unhappiness and delays us in meeting the right man.
Have you ever waited for a man to change? Did you invest in the relationship even when you saw it wasn't working? What was it that made you stay? These might not seem like simple questions to answer, but chances are there's a reason you didn't want to leave.
Following are some reasons you might be staying too long with the wrong man:
You don't want to be alone. Being single is a scary thought, especially if you're used to being in a relationship. If you worry about being alone, then it's important to spend time doing exactly that. One thing you might remind yourself of: it's more lonely to feel alone in a relationship than it is to be single.
He seems like such a great guy. Maybe he checks off a lot of boxes on your "must-have" list. Maybe he's incredibly gorgeous, or charismatic, or a million other attractive things. But if he's not willing to commit after years of dating, or he doesn't treat you with respect, or he avoids having a serious conversation about where the two of you are headed (or about anything else for that matter), he's likely not going to change.
You have incredible chemistry. When you are together, it's like time stops. The chemistry is almost palpable there's so much heat, and you really enjoy each other's company. But then he'll go weeks without calling or seeing you. No matter how awesome he is, or how much he makes you laugh, if he's not there when it counts or is not invested in the relationship, then it's only going to hurt you to keep things going. And he might have someone else on the side.
You keep thinking he'll change. Maybe you've broken up with him a few times, but he keeps coming back, saying he's changed. So you give him another chance, only to be disappointed. It's time to stop taking his word for it and take care of yourself for a change. If a man hasn't shown you that he's really changed, then he probably hasn't.
You are avoiding real intimacy. This might be difficult to hear, but some women stay in a relationship that isn't working because they can avoid true intimacy. It's scary to show who you really are to someone else - it takes complete trust with no guarantees. If you're with someone because he doesn't ask a lot of you, or you don't have to reveal yourself too deeply, then you're missing out. Great relationships are built on this kind of trust in the vulnerability of our partners.