Contributed by: Jet on Friday, March 02 2012 @ 09:19 am
Last modified on
Undoubtedly a great deal of stress goes into preparing for a first date with someone new. You want everything to go smoothly; you want to reduce any unexpected complications. This time of year, though, the probability of unexpected complications is even higher - because it’s cold and flu season. It’s awkward enough when you get sick just before or during a first date; how do you handle it when it’s your date that’s under the weather?
First, let’s consider what happens if our date cancels at the last minute due to illness. While certainly the least stressful of our options, it’s often the one that causes the most over-thinking. It’s one thing to see your date looking visibly green; it’s another to receive a cryptic email or voice message. Were they really sick? Will they be the ones to reschedule? Are they really still sick? Engaging in this mental whirlpool is the way of madness.
The best policy is to give the benefit of the doubt and don’t second-guess. It’s not like you’re being bilked; all you have to lose is maybe some compassion. And if your potential match really is sick, the last thing they need is some paranoid person leaving them constant texts while they’re trying to sleep. That being said, it is okay to send an email or two asking how they’re feeling, with maybe a funny picture. Don’t bring up rescheduling; don’t make them feel guilty for being ill. And remember, the flu can take a week to recover from, so don’t be alarmed if they’re not up for much talking.
What if your date gets sick while you’re meeting for the first time? Well, imagine how you feel when you’re coming down with the flu - you’re disoriented, you’re probably horrified at being out in public. You’re distracted, to say the least, though you’re desperately trying to keep it together, and you might not make the best choices. It goes without saying that your date would be in no state to either represent their best self or pay any attention to yours.
So what can you do? Make the tough calls; ask if they need to leave, end the date if it’s necessary, help arrange transportation if they need it. They’re going to be feeling pretty embarrassed, especially if they were physically sick, so the best thing you can be is nonchalant but compassionate. Once they’re home, the same rules apply as in the other case; send a casual but concerned email, but don’t place extra pressure on them.
Some say our immune system can be weakened with stress. It’s never fun when a date is unexpectedly ill, but if you keep your cool in the face of germs, your date may recover all the faster - and you can get back to getting to know one another.