Contributed by: Jet on Sunday, January 15 2012 @ 08:33 am
Last modified on
Dating is, as one might expect, a very personal subject for most people. It’s possible everyone has one funny “bad date” story they pull out for friends and family, but the majority of the time dating is no sitcom - there’s a lot of expectation, insecurity, nerves... not really a spectator sport. Not to mention the fact that well-meaning family and friends like to give their opinions on everything! I know many people who refuse to tell anyone when they start chatting with someone new - they’ll let in the peanut gallery when it’s already serious.
Thus, it may come as a surprise when I say that before you even enter the online dating scene - when you’re constructing your profile - is a prime time for some outside input.
“What?” you may think. “I already know how to use spell-check, and honestly I’m a better writer than most of my friends and family. Can’t I just proofread my own work a few extra times?”
Well, that’s not a bad alternative if you don’t have friends and family nearby or easily available, but the spelling and punctuation isn’t the issue: self-esteem is. No one wants to come off as arrogant, but the flip side is that it’s not uncommon for first-timers to actually undervalue their strengths and assets.
Let’s face it: we might know that we’re usually there for friends and we’ll give change to buskers if we have it, but we don’t really think of ourselves as “compassionate” when it comes time to describe ourselves. Conversely, we might know that people often refer to us as “responsible” or “strong,” but it’s hard to think of those concrete examples that help a person leap off the page beyond generic adjectives. In cases like these, two heads really can be better than one.
The key to collaborating successfully is to choose someone who won’t bring you down - someone who’s naturally supportive won’t make you feel self-conscious. The last thing you need is extra doubt! Remember, if you’ve got the writing aspect covered, you’re not necessarily looking for an editor - rather, a support system. Of course, it never hurts to have an extra set of eyes to proofread, either!
Writing a profile can be stressful, particularly for a first-timer. Why not make it fun with a friend or member of the family? Laughing and cracking jokes won’t detract from writing a good profile - and getting an outside perspective of yourself may allow you to kick off dating with a little extra confidence.