Contributed by: kellyseal on Sunday, June 02 2013 @ 12:22 pm
Last modified on
You've met a great woman through an online dating site, and you've been seeing her for a few weeks. You haven't discussed your relationship or anyone else you're dating, but you always have a good time together and have become closer. You want to stop dating other people and have already taken down your online profile. But you've noticed hers is still active.
Do you ask her to take it down, or do you keep silent and hope that she'll do it herself if she's interested in you?
This can be a tough question, as most people signed up for online dating sites go out with several people and keep their profiles active. It really depends on where you're at in the relationship.
And admittedly, talking about your relationship status when you've only been dating a little while is a hard thing to do. There's a good chance you're not on the same page, so why ruin a good thing?
The problem is, if you are interested in someone, talking about it is the best (and only) way to move forward.
Let's say you've discussed trying exclusivity with each other. In this case, it's fair game to ask each other to take down your online dating profiles. You've agreed to be exclusive.
But if you haven't had a discussion about exclusivity, then both of you are entitled to keep actively dating on the site until you are both ready to move forward. In fact, it's good to keep your options open instead of counting on something that may fizzle out in a few weeks' time. Until you're ready to have that discussion, you should keep your profile active on the site and not take it down prematurely.
If you've been seeing each other a few weeks and you want to move forward but she doesn't, what do you do? It's important to note here that she might not be ready for a relationship. Or, she might want to keep her options open because she isn't sure about you. Either way, you don't want to take your profile down and see her exclusively when she isn't doing the same. It will cause heartbreak in the future, because you both have different expectations.
Let's say she's more interested in being exclusive than you are. She took down her profile after your third date, hoping you'd want to move forward, too. But if you still want to meet new people, her actions shouldn't deter you. When you're dating non-exclusively, you're not beholden to anyone. You should be dating multiple people at a time, just to see what it is you do and don't want - until you're ready to move forward with one person.
Bottom line: Communication is important as you get further along in the dating process. Keep dating others until you have agreed to exclusivity.