Contributed by: Jet on Thursday, February 28 2013 @ 09:12 am
Last modified on
When you have a fair amount of experience with online dating, it becomes easier to “trust your gut.” You more easily know what you’re looking for, and can identify with increasing ease people with whom you’ll probably get along (though no one can predict whether you’ll have that “spark”). And you might also sense when something’s “off,” without even precisely knowing what it is that seems wrong.
However, those who are new to online dating have less confidence in their instincts and logic. The dating world might seem like a darker, scarier place. Or, let’s say you’re someone who isn’t the best at detecting deception or nuance to begin with. How to make yourself feel safer?
In this day and age, there’s no reason one should have to trust only a few lines of text. Technology might not be perfect, and it can’t take the place of an in-person meeting, but it can at least break the ice and allay a few fears.
First of all: candid pictures. Sure, we might not have many that we feel shows us in our best light, but chances are we have access to something that will at least prove we’re a human being and not the Abominable Snowman. You might not put up a cell phone picture on your profile, but there’s nothing wrong with sending one along in a private message if someone’s nervous that your photos are too good to be true.
But why stop with those? If you really want to test the waters before meeting in person, try a simple video chat. Within a few seconds you’ve verified that you’re not talking to some foreign identity stealer who’s also an organized crime lord, but rather the mild-mannered, funny person whose profile caught your interest. You can tell that the quirky, self-deprecating humor is genuine, and not plagiarized. You can see that the default picture may have been at a very specific angle, but it wasn’t airbrushed into someone else. And when you meet in person, you’ll have an even more accurate idea of who to expect.
Even if you’re now feeling comfortable, you should never throw basic safety precautions out the window; meeting in a public place is always the best option. However, using common sense when it comes to safety is not the same thing as living in fear. With modern technology, there’s no reason to go into a date completely blind and afraid; why not use our technological resources to get comfortable?