Contributed by: Jet on Tuesday, March 01 2011 @ 09:35 am
Last modified on
Making the transition from communication online to in-person can be awkward. No, scratch that - it simply is awkward, at least for the first few minutes. And that’s okay.
It’s easy for some to be witty or interesting in an email - they have plenty of time to compose their thoughts, and arrange them in the most efficient or humorous way. In person, on the other hand, when you’re both thinking at the same time, you get silences. And silence, while not a bad thing in itself, can cause panic, which is never good on a first date.
Enter small talk.
Small talk is much-maligned, and it shouldn’t be. It keeps the flow of conversation going! Small talk is, by definition, inoffensive topics of conversation to which most people find it easy to contribute. Who wouldn’t like having some of those on-hand?
For example, the weather. “Ah, the weather,” you might scoff. “The most boring topic of all.” Sure - maybe if you live in a part of the world where nothing interesting happens. But the past year, in particular, has had some pretty extreme weather. Maybe your town got snow for the first time in fifty years, and you went sledding on a garbage can. Maybe you had to kayak to a neighbor’s house. Maybe you built a snow igloo, and that igloo was covered the next week in more snow. Almost everyone has a story right now - you and your date can easily share, compare clothing tips, speculate on the future, or just talk about how nice it’ll be to move into a season that will theoretically be less exciting.
Another topic that shouldn’t be too messy is recent movies. There’s a large sampling to choose from, and chances are your date has seen at least one movie in the past six months. We’re in awards season right now, so you can even talk about whether or not you’ve seen any of the nominated films. The key here is to try to stay positive; even if you hate most commercial fare, no one wants to be around a downer. If you can’t talk about film today without going on a rant, skip it, unless you already know your date holds the same views.
The trick is simply to get started talking, and small talk can give you the jump-start you need. Most conversations segue naturally into other topics - and if they don’t, that’s okay too (don’t panic!). Also, don’t be afraid to move from one topic to another if you suddenly remember something more interesting. And finally, don’t be afraid of moments of silence - you have to have time to eat, take in the scenery if you’re on a walk, or just breathe. Remember: you’re on a date to get to know someone, not in a contest to fill every moment with sound.