Contributed by: Jet on Thursday, June 21 2012 @ 10:45 am
Last modified on
When a relationship is first beginning, there’s an understandable amount of awkwardness. It’s kind of like participating in a three-legged race with someone you hardly know; some people just can’t get their rhythm together at all, and some seem to get the hang of it quickly, but there’s always a little stumbling at first. One of the main sources of stumbling is affection, or more specifically, how to express it.
Remember, you’ve been shaped to express your feelings in a certain way. Maybe you have no problem saying “I love you,” but holding hands or kissing in public makes you flustered. Maybe it’s about what you do for your significant other: making them breakfast, remembering to pick up their favorite ice cream, helping them fix their computer. Maybe you’re more excited to buy a present for someone than you are to receive one - because that’s how you show that you care and that you value their happiness.
Just as you’ve been shaped throughout your life to express yourself, so has your significant other - only they may have completely different examples and experiences. And that’s where the stumbling comes in. You might have heard others say (or thought it yourself): “Why is it taking so long for her to say ‘I love you’ back to me?” or “I wonder how he really feels.” It’s entirely possible that your significant other is sending their messages loud and clear; you just don’t know how to interpret them.
Additionally, in the beginning of a relationship there’s typically a bit of paranoia as well. Perhaps you’re feeling yourself becoming emotionally invested in this relationship and you’re afraid your partner isn’t falling as fast. When you’re already worried you’re not on the same page, it’s easy to over-analyze and misinterpret.
So what do you do, if you’re worried? First, try to relax. Remember that you might just be overly anxious because the relationship is progressing well, and you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s normal, but if you can recognize it, perhaps you can let your anxiety drift away. Next, remember that a relationship is built on communication. If you have questions, talk about them. If you want to let your significant other know how you express your feelings, explain it to them. No one’s a mind-reader! It shouldn’t be a paranoid interrogation, but there’s nothing wrong with having a status check every now and then.
Just like that three-legged race, no one really hits the ground running - adjustments need to be made for even the most in-tune partners. But by listening to your partner, and not being afraid to communicate, you can pick up speed all the more quickly.