Contributed by: Jet on Wednesday, December 23 2009 @ 08:55 am
Last modified on
There's no question that many couples in relationships start out as “just friends.” Sure, there's the occasional “instant spark” or “love at first sight” stories. Many others, however, start out as quiet friendships, maybe with some chemistry smoldering under the surface, that slowly develop into more over a period of months or years.
Some detractors from online dating claim that the Internet fosters an artificial relationship – that simply talking to a person online can't possibly compare to doing the same thing in person. If we agree that friendship, leading to dating, leading to a relationship is the “natural” progression for most people, I make the claim that the use of online dating sites is a far more genuine avenue to starting a relationship than, say, a typical singles scene like a bar.
Consider the bar: many consider it the only avenue to ever finding that “special someone,” so pressure is heightened. It's assumed that if you go through the trouble of selecting just the right outfit, heading out to the watering hole, and making yourself available, that you're a failure if you don't land a date or better – that night. The bar is expected to be immediate dating gratification. And if you do land a date, or something more, you've completely bypassed the get-to-know-you, friendship stage – which might be desirable at the time, but could have long-term repercussions if you're looking for a relationship.
Now consider an online dating site. Now, some use dating sites as little more than classified ads, and others try to rush into a date or a relationship with one email. However, in most instances, first contact on a dating site is the equivalent of a simple “hello.” Emails get exchanged, chemistry and common interests are detected, and finally, after a period of days or months, you progress to the dating stage – and maybe beyond.
Is it immediate gratification? Not usually. But in my opinion, it's much closer to the “natural” progression of relationships – and the rewards for taking it slow could be better and longer-lasting.