Contributed by: EFoley on Monday, October 05 2009 @ 08:11 am
Last modified on
Many of my readers and clients ask me, "When's the right time to take things from online to offline?"
It can be difficult to gauge exactly when to pop the question about that first date, so let me start on the far end of the spectrum: Don't wait too long.
What's too long? Too long is the point where you're emailing back and forth on a daily basis, chatting via IMs or text messages. When you get to the point where you are a regular part of each other's lives, you've waited too long. You've fallen into what I call "pixel bondage."
Pixel Bondage
It's a real danger. This is the point where people start to assume they're falling in love with someone they only know online. It's not to say that it CAN'T happen; it's just that it usually doesn't.
I've found that the more you start feeling like you're a couple online, the more awkward the first date goes. After all, you start thinking about all the things you shared with each other online and you assume that you are at a certain level of intimacy. But when you meet in person, there's all the physical chemistry - or lack thereof - to deal with.
What happens when a "couple" who were "bonded" online meet in real life and one party ends up not feeling physical chemistry? Do you "break up"? Do you fake it and hope you can feel the chemistry later? If you engaged in dirty talk online, does that extend to your real life interaction?
It's a mess, and one that's easily avoided. Don't extend online interaction more than a couple weeks before meeting in real life. A first date in the real world helps you assess the level of physical chemistry before you get in too deep. Then, if things don't work out, it's a lot easier to call things off without any hard feelings.