Should you Date your Friend's Ex?
Contributed by: kellyseal on Thursday, June 03 2010 @ 09:02 am
Last modified on
Maybe there was a little spark of attraction when your friend brought her boyfriend to parties or dinners. Maybe you flirted a bit. Now that they've broken up and he's asked you out, should you date him? Or would you feel like you were betraying your friend?
You can throw caution to the wind and jump into a relationship with your friend's ex, hoping that over time your friend will see how happy you are and forgive you. Or, you can turn him down, reminding yourself that there are plenty of other guys out there and you don't want to engage in something that may really hurt your friend. There are no set guidelines for this, but first understand the consequences before you make any rash decisions.
Here are a few things to consider that may help you figure out what to do:
- Is this guy or girl worth the effort? Hopefully you've had more than a few occasions to interact, and you've observed how he treats your friend and others around him. Is he respectful and kind, or is he a bit immature and selfish? This is an indication of how he would treat you once the romance fades.
- How close is your friend? Is she a co-worker and happy hour buddy you see every day, or is she someone you have grown close to over the years? If you would miss the friendship, you may want to reconsider your plan.
- Be open and honest with your friend. Instead of sneaking around to date your friend's ex, let her know your intentions up front. If the tables were turned, you would want to know. Creating an honest environment from the beginning goes a long way towards building trust in a friendship, and may actually bring you closer.
- Know your behavior patterns. Do you find yourself attracted to guys that other people are dating rather than single, eligible men? Have you dated a friend's ex before? If you have, chances are this is a behavioral pattern rather than true love, and you'd be doing yourself a favor to walk away.
Remember, there are always options when it comes to dating. Perhaps it's time to try out online dating, and get out of dating your own circle of friends. Check out our complete list of reviews for online dating sites.