Contributed by: Jet on Saturday, September 17 2011 @ 09:42 am
Last modified on
Let’s say you’ve put a fair amount of work into your online dating profile, and you’re pretty sure it’s as good as it’s going to get. However, you’re just not getting the responses you’d like. What could you be doing wrong?
The first place to check is the first-contact email. “Wait a minute,” you might be saying. “First-contact email? I only email someone after they’ve contacted me first.” If that’s the case, we’ve solved your problem right there. See, just existing on the website isn’t necessarily enough to bring people to your profile. You have to let them know you exist. You have to be the first one to say hello. Thus, the first-contact email.
We call an online profile a first impression, and to a great extent it’s true; however, if they didn’t stumble onto your profile themselves, for many the real first impression comes from the first-contact email. However, don’t let that intimidate you! A first-contact email should be short and sweet, a modified version of the “hello” with which you begin any conversation. In a the email, you should get across two main points: that you’re a human being and not spam, and that you’ve read their profile.
How do we do this? The easiest way is to send an email that’s not copied and pasted, and contains a question that pertains to your profile, like, “I see you like sled dogs. Have you ever been to watch the Iditarod?” In one fell swoop, you’ve established that you’re a human being who’s read and thought about their profile.
Other information is implied through the email, but addressing it directly is unnecessary. For example, there’s no need to mention that you have a profile yourself; it’s obvious, and drawing attention to it could make you seem self-centered. There’s no reason to mention that you’re interested in or attracted to the email recipient; again, you wouldn’t be emailing if you weren’t interested, and trying to hit on them after saying “hello” could create a range of impressions, ranging from tacky to creepy.
A first-contact email is some of the simplest writing you’ll do, so don’t let yourself get bogged down - or complacent (a copy-and-pasted email is a sure way to an embarr*censored*ing mistake). And don’t be afraid to send emails to many people - anyone you’re interested in. Again, the only way they’ll know you have a profile is if you say hello.