Contributed by: Jet on Saturday, March 02 2013 @ 10:31 am
Last modified on
It’s no secret that most people are using online dating sites to find love, not friendship. After all, there’s plenty of people with whom we could get along or be friends, but finding someone with whom we share chemistry is a little trickier. We’re going for love and romance, right?
Well, yes. But at the beginning of a relationship, it is entirely possible to overdo it - to try to move too quickly. We know that a marriage proposal on the first date is too much, too soon, and we know that we want to get a little more personal than a conversation about the weather. The right balance lies somewhere in the middle - but where?
First, the most important thing to remember is that every couple is different, because every person is different. Some might be thrilled with flowers on the first date, while some would feel claustrophobic. Making any large gestures before you really know your date is a gamble, to say the least.
With that being said, it’s best to proceed with caution until you actually get to know your date. On the first date, you’re sussing out whether there’s any mutual spark at all. After that, if there is, there’s still a getting-to-know-you phase. Luckily, you probably won’t have to worry about romance, because that’s a pretty exciting phase all by itself! With plenty of open communication and discovery, you won’t need a set of rules or a manual to figure out the level of romance appropriate to you.
Over time, the “romance” question will only get easier. You now know your partner loves flowers, but likes a home-cooked meal even more. Or maybe they show their feelings physically, or verbally. Whatever the case, you’re now comfortable enough to experiment with something silly or grand, but you can also probably predict the response before it even happens.
As you can see, the trickiest part of the romance question is at the very beginning of the relationship. Some people think they have to follow every corny suggestion they see in a book or card store - suggestions that, by the way, tend to be geared toward people who want to bring romance back into their relationship, not find it for the first time. So if you’re worried that your large declaration of love might be too much, erring on the side of caution may be the most prudent course of action - because as a relationship progresses, such questions only get easier.