Contributed by: Jet on Thursday, June 20 2013 @ 07:05 am
Last modified on
We’ve all seen them - the commercials for online dating sites that feature a beaming couple, proclaiming they’ve found their “best friend.” Maybe they say something along the lines of, “it’s a party every night!” We like parties and the idea of being romantically linked to a best friend sounds pretty darn good, so naturally we want to give those sites a try first. But how realistic are these claims?
To find the answer, the first thing we have to remember is that we’re talking about a commercial, an advertisement. Thus, it should come as no surprise to realize that finding someone who eventually becomes your partner and best friend is completely attainable - but it might not be as simple as the commercials make it out to be.
What? A commercial makes something look better or easier than it is in real life? What a surprise! Consider the commercials for any marginally healthy food: they imply that eating said food will produce a dramatic weight loss, as well as a generally happier you. In reality, eating a healthy food is, indeed, a step along the way to a healthier self; it also involves self-discipline, initiative in terms of exercise and lifestyle changes, and a lot more time than the commercial probably implies. The commercial isn’t lying; they’re just omitting a lot of the steps along the way.
In commercials for online dating, it’s quite similar. We tend to see a scenario something along the lines of this: a person sees a profile, sends an email, there’s a first date, and bam! Happily ever after. While that’s certainly possible - and probably happens, to some extent, every day - there are quite a few steps omitted.
Consider the term “best friend.” There’s certainly chemistry at first sight - maybe you “click” with someone right away - but an enduring friendship also contains the element of trust, something that develops over time. There might be rocky moments along the way. There are lots of fun moments, but there are also days that are simply content or even boring.
Romantic relationships aren’t any different. You may click right away, and you might ultimately end up in a happily ever after, but that doesn’t mean you settle in in an instant, and it doesn’t mean life is an endless whirlwind of excitement.
Does that mean online dating sites aren’t worth it? Certainly not! They’re a valuable tool, allowing you to find potentially compatible people that you might otherwise have never met, as well as allowing you to control the first impression you make. But just as a healthy food won’t instantly produce weight loss, an online profile won’t instantly produce a ready-made Perfect Match. As you try out new dating sites, remember to keep your head out of the clouds; it better allows you to see the opportunities before you.