Contributed by: Jet on Tuesday, May 21 2013 @ 08:08 pm
Last modified on
Online dating may be efficient, convenient, and versatile - but no matter how you use it, it tends to favor the bold. That’s just the way it is; your profile may be fantastic, but you’ll have more success if you actually contact people to bring it to their attention. There’s a chance someone will come across you in their own custom search, but you’re increasing your chances when you do half the work yourself. For someone who’s naturally timid or know their people skills need work, it can be daunting.
But here’s the unexpected part: when you actively start to work on those weak areas - the shyness, the awkwardness - it has an effect across all areas of your life. All that small-talk practicing you’re doing to prepare for first dates means that suddenly you’re more comfortable striking up random conversations at the grocery store. Your focus on confidence and speaking up for yourself might pay off at work.
It’s not just the in-person preparation that can leak into “real life”; Caitlin, a friend, tells me that when she was in the process of writing her online profile, someone pointed out that her choice of words and phrases tended to be negative. “I didn’t think I actually felt so glum and down,” she says, “but after it was mentioned to me, I began to notice that I did it in person too! Even when I felt in a good mood, the words that were coming out of my mouth were very glass-half-empty. So I started making an effort to catch myself and rephrase if I could. I think my co-workers seem more friendly and comfortable around me now, and I even feel a little better myself!”
Online dating works best when we don’t think of it in a vacuum. Our everyday life affects the person we present on our online profiles, but the reverse can occur as well. Why proofread only our profiles? Why not be aware of the larger issues those “edits” can represent? With a little care, we can take our “editing notes” and enact positive changes in all aspects of our lives - including romance.