Contributed by: Jet on Thursday, February 24 2011 @ 09:32 am
Last modified on
As a species, we like learning more about ourselves and others - but mostly, about ourselves. We like figuring out what makes us tick. And, since we know we are subjective, we like to learn “truths” about ourselves, as well.
At least, that’s how I like to explain the popularity of personality tests and online quizzes.
The problem arises when people use these personality tests as an excuse, not an explanation. “I shouldn’t be responsible for keeping the conversation going on a date,” someone might say. “I’m an introvert.” Or, conversely: “It’s in my nature to want to control every aspect of the first date. That’s just who I am.”
That’s all well and good, if opposites really do attract. But that’s not only the case. At some point, one of two introverts will have to make the first move in a conversation or relationship. And two controlling personalities will have to learn compromise.
The thing about personality tests is, they only tell you who you currently are - not who you have the potential to be. Acknowledging your shortcomings does not give you a free pass to let your flaws run rampant.
So what’s the point of these personality tests, then? Well, one constructive way they can be used is that by identifying the areas in which you struggle, you can easily target what you want to work on. If you know you’re naturally introverted, you can prepare to make more of an effort when you go on that first date. If you know your controlling nature causes problems in relationships, you can find a way to work on it before your next relationship.
Even better, you can use personality tests to look outside yourself. If you understand the personality type of your significant other, it might give you a better understanding of how they handle conflict. The next argument has the potential to be diffused before it turns into a hurricane of confusion and anger.
Personality tests and online quizzes can be fun, and even informative, particularly when you’re just getting to know someone. The key is to do something constructive with the information - not use it as a shield or a weapon.