Contributed by: kellyseal on Wednesday, July 25 2012 @ 07:49 am
Last modified on
Perhaps one of the hardest lessons I had to learn when it came to finding someone special was patience.
Most of my friends got married well before I did, and sometimes I wondered what was so wrong with me that I couldn't find someone as quickly as they had. I found myself waiting, and waiting. I went on numerous dates. I took advice from friends and family that was unsolicited, just because I thought it couldn't hurt. I even started hosting my own dating events because I was so determined to meet someone great.
Of course, I kept waiting and waiting, with not much of anything happening. It felt like I waited for everything in my life - the right job, a promotion at work, even driving home in L.A. traffic was a daily exercise in patience. I thought that my life was full of struggle and grief when it came to relationships, and couldn't fathom that someone would one day be committed to me. Otherwise, he would have already shown up, right?
Wrong. With love, timing is never as we plan it. It's important to take a step back, breathe, and practice patience.
Practicing patience takes effort - it doesn't come easily. But it involves stopping and turning off that voice in your head that says "nothing is happening!" and trust a little more in the right timing of everything around us.
Learning patience also involves gratitude for what is in your life in the present moment. Not what you want, but what you have. If you're always thinking of what you want, you'll be in a perpetual state of wanting, and that is far from being patient. But if you recognize what you have in your life - whether it's a circle of close friends, family, a beautiful sunset, or an amazing slice of pizza, enjoy it, savor it, have gratitude. The more you feel a sense of appreciation, the more you will find to appreciate.
Patience also allows us to see more opportunities around us. For example, have you ever walked quickly through a grocery store, grabbing only the items you need because you're in a hurry, keeping your head down and your focus on leaving quickly - so that you never noticed the guy in the next aisle who was checking you out? Maybe he was going to ask for your number, but you hurried out so quickly he didn't have a chance. Sometimes we're so focused on the task in front of us, we forget that life is in the moment and opportunities are all around us, especially at the most inconvenient times.
So practice patience -daily, diligently, and mindfully - and see what happens.