Contributed by: Jet on Tuesday, April 24 2012 @ 07:05 pm
Last modified on
Recently, there’s been speculation that other online outlets are a better way to find a match than online dating sites. Video games, social networks, and old-fashioned forums are again receiving attention. People have always used those venues to find love, but now some are beginning to wonder if it’s even more efficient than a dating site. In my opinion, no, ultimately an online dating site is probably the most efficient; however, by learning why other venues work, we can make dating sites work for us even more.
Perhaps the most obvious lesson we can learn is that customizing a search to your interests is the fastest way to find likely matches. In a forum for your favorite band or in a video game, chances are you’re already playing with someone with at least one common interest. However, not everyone looking for love is interested in video games, for example - so even if you’ve heard a video game has millions of players, if you hate video games there’s no point in joining a dating pool with millions of less-than-compatible people. In an online dating site, it doesn’t matter what your interests are; you can narrow the field in one simple search. Your match doesn’t have to share every single interest, but it’s a great place to start looking.
Secondly, think about how people communicate in video games and forums. They typically get to know one another through some context unrelated to love; perhaps working together to solve a puzzle or sharing jokes about a TV show. In other words, they see more than one side of their match’s personality, and find out they’re compatible. Likewise, on an online dating site remember that you’re looking for the best match for you, not trying to win a prize for most attractive date. Ask questions about all of their interests, even the ones you don’t share - really get to know them.
And, of course, don’t forget to be honest about your own personality. On social networking sites, your match can see how you interact with others as well as the “good first impression” you present to them. When we contact someone we know we’re interested in, it’s easy to become stiff or overly formal. “Loosen up” and “Be yourself” are probably cliches, but they’ve become cliches for a reason. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you want to find someone who likes you for who you are.
You don’t need to join niche forums, random video games, or every social networking site under the sun just for the possibility of finding love; chances are, if you’re not interested in those niches to begin with, you’re just wasting your time. But think about how and why people find love in those unexpected places and apply them to your own dating practices. In addition, remember that finding love in an unconventional venue also requires a combination of being open to finding love anywhere, and having the nerve to pursue someone when you know there’s a connection. When you’re looking for love, those are certainly valuable traits to have, regardless of the venue.