Contributed by: kellyseal on Monday, April 30 2012 @ 09:27 am
Last modified on
One of the realities of online dating is that most people will - to some extent - misrepresent themselves in their profiles. Usually it's adjusting age by a couple of years, weight by a few pounds, or income by a few thousand dollars a year in order to make yourself more appealing to more people.
While this can be frustrating, it doesn't mean that you should immediately dump your date without giving him a chance. People have different levels of self-awareness, and it might serve you better to get to know them before writing them off entirely.
After all, have you ever fudged in your online profile? Even if it's just that you posted pictures from a couple of years ago instead of a more recent depiction? The point is, everyone is trying to make himself look better (including you) to attract the best candidates. As long as you look at online dating profiles as a starting point to getting to know someone, you can more easily keep your expectations in check when you actually do meet face-to-face for the first time.
On the other hand, some people who are online dating are deceptive, and it's good to look out for warning signs in advance. If they don't post pictures (and refuse to send any to you when you ask), or if they deliberately avoid certain topics (like career or what kind of relationship they are looking for), or provide only brief responses in their descriptions, messages, or emails, they are likely trying to hide something. Be wary of meeting them face-to-face.
And if you are excited to meet someone, only to discover they look nothing like their profile? It's best to have a plan of action. If you're not interested in getting to know the person and want to end the date, have some class. Don't just make an excuse and wander off to the restroom never to return. Tell them politely that you just don't think it will work out, or that you feel they mislead you in their profile or with the pictures they posted. Then excuse yourself and leave.
Don't attempt to be nice just to save someone's feelings. If you continue with the date knowing that you've been mislead, and then tell the person it was nice meeting him, then you're wasting your time. He might even ask you out again, and you're faced once again with telling the truth. So be honest from the start.
And if you find yourself consistently dating people who post dishonest profiles, instead of blaming online dating or all the people you've been meeting, see if there might be something in your profile that could be contributing. Are you asking for women who look like supermodels, or men who only earn a certain income? If your standards are rigid, people will feel they need to impress you. Just keep in mind how you come across in your own profile as well as how others may come across in theirs. We could all improve the dating experience this way.