Contributed by: Jet on Thursday, September 06 2012 @ 09:14 am
Last modified on
It’s that time of year again: back-to-school time. Now, many of our first friendships, and even romantic relationships, were forged during our years at school; and many adults will tell you it’s never been as easy to find a friend or romantic prospect as it was back then. True, as an adult you’re probably not in an environment comprised of single peers; still, that doesn’t mean we can’t apply some of those lessons even today.
First, think back to how you and your friends “found” each other. It may have been in class, but it might have been a less likely place: a chance encounter in a hallway, a conversation at the end of lunch. Though you may have had some “at first sight” friends, more friendships were probably developed slowly, as you saw each other in class or in the halls every day.
Some experts say it’s these random, unplanned encounters that increase the likelihood of forming new friendships. So, how can you apply this to love? Examine your own routine. Do you regularly make yourself “available” to others, or do you only leave your home for necessary errands? Do you have hobbies that allow you to meet new people? Is your favorite bar or coffee shop only frequented by people dramatically out of your demographic? Developing a new routine - or at least trying one out - might allow your chances at chance meetings to increase. It’s a lot easier to strike up a conversation with someone when you clearly eat at the same place every day.
Something else we learned in school: even in what feels like a small environment, chances are slim that you’ve literally met everyone. Maybe you thought you knew everyone at school, until you went to your high school graduation and realized there were dozens, if not hundreds, of people you’d never noticed (if you knew everyone at your high school graduation, you either attended a much smaller school than I did or you were much more popular). In my own experience, it was entirely possible to meet “someone new” with similar interests in a school you’d both attended for years, without having ever seen each other in the past, simply because you didn’t share the same lunch period or classes.
Similarly, try not to grow disheartened when you feel you’ve met “everyone there is to meet” in your area. Yes, it’s possible there’s only ten people using your preferred dating site - so maybe it’s time to switch to another one, broaden your search parameters, or try going out in person, because statistically, you haven’t met every compatible single out there, I promise. Remember: it was possible to not meet in high school just because you didn’t have the same schedule. Now view your “high school” as a town of tens of thousands. Daunting? Yes, but better to be challenged than to feel you’ve explored all your options.
You may not be in school anymore, but that doesn’t mean you’re not constantly learning and growing. Some things have changed; we might use the internet to communicate now, for example, and you might be looking for love instead of someone with whom to trade cards. Still, the core lessons you’ve learned about friendship - honesty, being yourself, being a good friend, making the first move - are never too elementary to heed when searching for a match.