Contributed by: Jet on Monday, November 22 2010 @ 09:21 am
Last modified on
For someone with a busy life, online dating can be a great alternative way to find someone. You can peruse profiles at your leisure, send out first-contact emails at 3am, and take as long to edit that first profile of yours as you want before submitting. Getting started can be done completely on your schedule.
However, there's a fact many busy people forget when they get into online dating: once you've initiated contact with another person, there are now two human beings in the equation. And increasingly, things cannot be done according to only one person's schedule.
For example: you get a response to a first-contact email. We know you're busy, and you want get off on the right foot, so if you're going to be swamped in the next week, email and be honest about it. What not to do: push everything off until after work calms down, a week or a month later. By then, you're even further back than square one; your potential date has probably wondered where you've been or formed some not-so-favorable opinions.
Something else I've seen busy people do: book back-to-back dates. At the same location. We've all been to appointments or interviews, and we all know how this plays out: one meeting runs later than expected, and the next candidate arrives a little early. The result will be awkward at best. Not to mention the fact that you're really doing a disservice to both dates: you'll remember one better than the other, the second one will inevitably be compared to the first, and you might rush the first date because you're nervous about running into the second.
Even if you're exceedingly busy, it's important to remember that a relationship involves two equally important human beings. Online dating is convenient, but it's not an automat delivering a ready-made relationship. A certain amount of work and time is needed to develop a good relationship. Are you hard-pressed to spend time on even a handful of emails or date? Then perhaps it's time to evaluate what it is you do want, and what you're willing to do to achieve it. Having a clear picture of what's expected will avoid awkward situations, and hopefully lead to maximized chances at finding love!