Contributed by: kellyseal on Friday, November 19 2010 @ 08:12 am
Last modified on
Most of us have been hurt from a relationship. Sometimes it is hard to move past our scars and trust someone again, though this is essential to developing a relationship with someone new.
Do you find yourself getting frustrated on dates, or feeling cynical about the types of people you're meeting? Instead of looking outward and deciding how wrong everyone else is for you, take some time to focus on what baggage you might be bringing to the dating table:
Holding grudges. Maybe you've had a few relationships where people took advantage of you, emotionally or financially. Instead of calling all women gold-diggers or all men players, remember that each person deserves the benefit of the doubt when it comes to meeting them for the first time. If you have a chip on your shoulder, it will send the wrong message to a potentially great date.
Crossing off certain "types". If you primarily dated lawyers without much success, crossing all lawyers off your list will only succeed in limiting your choices. Instead of lumping all lawyers into the "bad relationship" category, open your heart and get to know the individuals you meet. Besides, your list will only grow longer the more you date if this is how you operate.
Having an extensive list. Ladies, this is for you. If you have an extensive list of everything you do and don't want in a partner, nobody is going to measure up! Make sure you prioritize and think about what you truly want in a relationship, rather than the perfect date.
Waiting. If you spend a lot of time in your apartment watching Tivo and ignoring invitations to parties and blind dates, you aren't doing yourself any favors. You won't meet anyone without trying, and that means getting out there. Even if you endure a lot of bad dates, you'll also have a lot of experiences that will help you understand what you truly want in a relationship, and you're that much closer to finding the right one.
Surrounding yourself with negative people. Sure, it's fun to join your friends at the bar and discuss how awful your dates have been over *censored*tails. But is this helping any of you date better? Instead of constantly complaining about how things are going, try hanging out with friends who are in successful relationships, and ask them how they did it. Changing your attitude will help attract more positive people to you, and lead you to better relationship candidates.
Most of us have been hurt from a relationship.Sometimes it is hard to move past our scars and trust someone again, though this is essential to developing a relationship with someone new.