Contributed by: Jet on Monday, May 16 2011 @ 08:25 am
Last modified on
When you’ve been in a relationship for some time, you begin to hear what isn’t being said, as well as what is. Perhaps you learn exactly the right food to bring home when your significant other is feeling ill, or what they really mean when they say their day was fine. However, that takes time to learn - and in the meantime, trying to figure out the hidden cues and signals can be frustrating and confusing.
First and foremost, don’t read anything extra into your partner’s behavior if you can help it. Even if you suspect your significant other is trying to hint that you should do something other than what they’re saying, it’s better to be safe than sorry. What’s worse - that you weren’t a magical mind-reader, or that you expressly disregarded what was specifically said? Most would say the latter.
For example: Steve and Jane have been together for several weeks. Jane’s birthday is coming up, and she specifically asks for something low-key, something that’s not a big spectacle. Steve thinks Jane is just being modest, and plans a giant surprise party where Jane is the center of attention. In reality, Jane is incredibly shy, and being the focus of such attention is literally painful. Now, even if Jane weren’t shy and secretly wanted a party, would it have been the end of the world if Steve had followed her request to the letter?
Some tips and tricks can be found through simple observation. If your significant other is having a bad day, what eventually made them smile? What movies do they gravitate to when they’re sick? Do they always request the same dessert when they’re celebrating? Making a note of these simple habits can help you earn major partner points.
And finally, if you’re confused about something, don’t be afraid to ask. Communication is key to a lasting relationship; no one should be expected to have telepathic powers. Being honest and direct is often the fastest - and easiest - way to maintaining a clear connection. Why play games instead of enjoying each other?