Contributed by: Jet on Saturday, May 01 2010 @ 01:33 pm
Last modified on
Most online dating sites have a profile section wherein you are expected to talk about what you're looking for in your ideal mate. While this section is certainly helpful, it's what I like to call the “danger” section – the section in which people get themselves in trouble. It's a section that can make or break a profile.
There are many things you can do to improve that section, and your profile as a whole, but here's the easiest, simplest tip that will make a difference: when talking about what you're looking for, don't talk about what you're not looking for. It's really as simple as that. Which sounds more appealing? “My dream guy would take in a Lakers game with me” or “I don't want to date a girl that plays games or is in it for my money”?
Similarly, while you don't want to give an endless laundry list of physical qualities you're looking for (your reader may feel like you're too picky), it can be easier to send the message you're intending if you stick to concrete interests, rather than vague qualities. When you're being vague, it can be easy to slip into negativity and backhanded statements. Consider this statement: “I want a guy that's loyal, even in the face of family and friends.” The baggage is silently typing itself. It's a lot harder to read something into “I'd love to meet a fellow Scrabble buff.”
Listing a few concrete interests also makes it easier for the reader to insert herself into the role of your “dream” match. It's easy to get dissuaded or confused when the most specific qualities you read are “a shining knight to sweep me off my feet” or “a best friend.” However, it's easy to say, “Hey, I like the Lakers too!” or “A Scrabble buff?! I am a Scrabble buff!” It's easier to get excited and positive, which then leads to a better first email.
As you construct and edit your online dating profile, cast a critical eye at the section for your perfect match. Are you sending the right messages?