Contributed by: Jet on Thursday, March 14 2013 @ 08:31 am
Last modified on
One of the most surprising issues about online dating is the matter of who contacts whom. People of both genders get surprisingly caught up in this dilemma. Sometimes it really is about gender: a woman might think she can’t the first move, or a man thinks he’s tired of doing so.
Most of the time, however, it’s about confidence. Someone thinks the person they’re interested in is “out of their league.” Or perhaps they don’t fit the other person’s search criteria precisely - they’re not the right age, or height, or level of fitness. Whatever the reason, they’re interested in a profile, but something stops them before they can send a first-contact email.
Let’s take a moment to consider the purpose of using an online dating site. Chances are, you’re using one because you want to meet more people than you currently are. Maybe your area is devoid of singles, or you don’t work with anyone in your age bracket. Maybe you just want to broaden your pool of options. Regardless, the dating is all still taking place in person, so the sole purpose of the online dating site is to facilitate that first meeting.
How useful is online dating if you’re too afraid to actually say hello to the people in which you’re interested?
Remember, when you send a first-contact email, you’re not signing up for a relationship. You’re not making a commitment. You’re just saying hello. A fair percentage of first-contact emails don’t even go much further than that. If you’re sending out those emails to anyone who piques your interest, the number of unanswered emails or negative responses is just a fact of life; if you’re too timid and only send one or two to begin with, it can seem devastating.
In short, you have virtually nothing to lose by saying hello, but great potential for gain. Sending more first-contact emails will only reduce the anxiety, stress and intimidation factor. So why aren’t you sending more?