Contributed by: kellyseal on Thursday, June 07 2012 @ 09:21 am
Last modified on
Do you find yourself posting on Twitter or Facebook at all hours? Do you tend to leave a digital trail of texts and emails rather than picking up the phone to call someone? While people are gravitating towards online interaction, it may be better to keep some things to yourself.
Maybe you feel more comfortable sharing over the Web to random friends and followers the details of your thoughts, interactions, feelings, or even questions about dating. Maybe you even have a blog that details each online date in its awkward progression.
If you feel comfortable sharing online, are you just as comfortable sharing in person with someone you just met? Likely not. There's something about personal space (mentally and physically) that keeps us comfortable, that preserves who we are - at least until we develop trust with another person. While you might have a few too many drinks and make some confessions to a date you later regret, there's no stop button when it comes to the Internet.
And just as there is the real you, there is an online you that builds its presence by sharing through social media and blogs. The problem is - where do you draw the line as far as what is too personal? If you blog or Tweet about your dating disasters and successes, then you run the risk of all of your future dates, boyfriends, or girlfriends finding out. Some might not be so comfortable to date you when you're so used to sharing everything - the good, bad and the ugly. And if you keep your blog anonymous, prepare to be revealed down the line. It can happen easily, so don't hide behind your words.
And I've said this before: don't friend anyone you're dating on Facebook until you are in a relationship. This may seem counter-intuitive to the easy way in which we connect with people now. After all, instead of asking for someone's number or business card many of us just friend each other on Facebook. But everything you've posted is accessible. Do you really want to admit to those drunken photos or your political or religious rants? And for those of you who like to express your success in dating or hooking up, it's a turn-off for potential dates to see it. Imagine friending a guy you like to see that he posts a bunch of comments about how many women he picks up? Not everyone is going to be so forgiving or try to understand who you really are.
The best approach is to decide how you'll present yourself online, and be consistent. While that seems like a lot of pressure, it's not. Just keep one thing in mind: less is better. Don't use social media or a blog as a confessional. Save the revealing for your significant other, not to please the online public.