Contributed by: Jet on Thursday, November 29 2012 @ 09:40 am
Last modified on
When we dress up for a first date, we probably look a little more “fancy” than we do on a normal day. This makes sense; after all, we want to make a good first impression, and it’s generally expected that this will be the case. But what about when we write our profiles? That, too, is a first impression, but at the same time we’re trying to let someone get to know us, get to decide if we’d be compatible. Should we “fancy” ourselves up then?
Perhaps on some level, everyone wants to come across as smart and sophisticated. When it comes to profiles, however, some indicators of intelligence and sophistication are so common that it’s become almost a cliche. Recently I asked someone what their interests were. I heard about their vacation destinations, but not about what they like to do on a typical weekend. Similarly, when asked to list cuisine they liked, they only mentioned the most upscale restaurants. This wouldn’t be a problem if it accurately reflected who they were most of the time - but it was really only who they were once or twice a year.
People have many sides. Sure, we might want everyone to know about our “sophisticated” side - the one that appreciates good wine and museums. But we’re doing our potential matches a disservice by masking our other sides - our love for a good tailgate party, or the fact that we’ve won the office costume party for three consecutive Halloweens.
And let’s face it - for most of us, it’s our less sophisticated side that we show most of the year. It’s nice to impress, but how does that bring us closer to finding someone we can be with for longer than an evening? Do you want your points of connection to be something you listed only because you thought you should?
As you write your profile, make sure you’re painting a picture that is flattering, but also mostly accurate. It’s one thing to take a picture in your best light, with makeup - it’s another to digitally edit your face into someone else entirely. So too is it with a self-summary. Would you rather someone be impressed by what you like, or be impressed because of who you are?