Contributed by: Jet on Tuesday, March 30 2010 @ 02:00 pm
Last modified on
Usually, I'm all about telling people to look outside their box, to avoid being too picky. When searching for potential matches on a dating site, I often recommend looking for general common interests; you don't have to match up perfectly. General, not specific, is the way to go when looking for someone else.
However, when constructing your own profile, being general, not specific, is the surest way to become utterly forgettable.
Here's an example: “I like music. I like some of everything; I go in phases.” Okay, I am someone who has very broad tastes in music, so I sympathize with this instinct, I really do. Your tastes are varied! You're so much more than a one-note music appreciator! The problem is, does saying “I like music” - like most of the population – really say anything about you at all? Rather than coming off as a connoisseur, you fade into the background – just another generic profile.
So we've established that you want to use specific examples in your profile. But what if you really do have incredibly broad and varied tastes? Should you then list something from every genre or interest?
In a word, no. A laundry list is just as bad as being too vague; if the list is too long, the reader won't bother with it at all. Here's where you have to make a little compromise. So maybe you're afraid that there's one obscure band that you love, and if you don't list it you could be missing out on your perfect match. Well, by all means, list that band – but there shouldn't be more than a few must-lists.
Otherwise, to convey your broad range, list the extremes: “I am equally at home at a concert featuring Stravinsky or Lady Gaga.” Or “Celtic Woman and Metallica.” Yes, you have to omit some in the middle, but the point gets across, your profile is actually being read – not skipped over – and the contrast might even stick out in the memory of the reader.
To use an old cliché, there are many fish in the sea. As fisherman, your best bet is to cast a wide, general net. However, when you're the fish, you want to be as sparkling and special as you can – and the way to do that through an online profile is succinct, specific, and memorable.