Contributed by: kellyseal on Sunday, July 11 2010 @ 09:13 am
Last modified on
In all avenues of life, career, love and family, we teach people how to treat us. It is the same with dating. When we find ourselves excited by a potential date, it's important to keep ourselves in check so we don't repeat negative or self-defeating patterns in our relationships.
If you're attracted to someone and are feeling pressure about how to act and what to do so you don't come across as desperate, ask yourself the following questions:
Am I making myself too available? If he makes a habit of calling at 5pm to have dinner the same night and you continually accept without hesitation, you are teaching him that this is acceptable behavior. In reality, it's disrespectful of you and your time. So, time to stop accepting these last-minute invitations. The same goes for calling and texting. Put the phone down and let him reach out to you.
Do I seem clingy? If you've only been on a few dates, it's not reasonable to expect you're in a relationship. Don't make assumptions and ask probing questions about where he's been and with whom. If he is dating other people, he's entitled, and so are you.
Am I ignoring other parts of my life, like work or career? If you've stopped making plans with your friends to clear your schedule for your new love interest, or if you've dropped the ball at work, this may be a sign that you're jumping the gun. Take your time and don't stop enjoying your own life!
Am I making excuses for my date's behavior? When you are a desperate dater you'll rationalize bad behavior: is he critical of you, or does he make fun of you? Does he call when he says he'll call? If you find yourself excusing his bad behavior, it's time to reconsider whether this is the right relationship for you.