Contributed by: kellyseal on Friday, February 04 2011 @ 08:31 am
Last modified on
Online dating is a rigorous process. You search through profiles, email back and forth answering questions, talk over the phone, and eventually you meet in person. Chances are that along the way, you're going to reject a few candidates before someone interests you.
But what if telling someone you're not interested is a hard thing for you to do? Do you find yourself "disappearing" by not answering emails or texts? Do you let your date's calls go to voicemail?
If you are hoping that your dates get the hint by your lack of attention, this is not a good practice. Most online daters understand that you are communicating with multiple candidates and chemistry is not always there. This doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want and hope they get the message, just because you feel uncomfortable telling them how you feel. Your dates deserve the courtesy of a response.
Let's turn the tables. How many times have you been frustrated by your love interest's sporadic phone calls and hectic schedule? If he's not available, most likely he's not interested. But how many times have you questioned that assumption, remembering how great his smile was or what incredible chemistry you thought you shared? Have you done the same thing to someone else?
If you have a date that you don't care to see again, send a nice but brief email or make a phone call (no texts please!). Let him know you're not interested without being rude. For example:
It was nice meeting you last night and thanks for dinner. Unfortunately, I just didn't feel there was chemistry between us. I wish you the best.
Even if your date feels a little hurt and rejected, it's better that he knows instead of wondering what happened. When people know where they stand, they are able to move on and find the relationship that is right for them.