Contributed by: kellyseal on Sunday, September 02 2012 @ 09:30 am
Last modified on
The scenario: you're meeting an online date for the first time, and since you greeted each other in the coffee shop, you're trying to decipher his behavior and whether or not he's interested. So, you're playing it cool until he gives you a sign - you sit back in your chair, make polite conversation, and you ask questions, hoping he'll make a move. You think he's attractive, but you're not sure if he's all that interested. Sometimes he seems flirtatious, but other times standoffish. Is there a way to gauge his interest now, rather than waiting for the end of the date to see whether or not he asks to meet you again?
According to some studies on the subject, there's a lot you can tell about a man's interest right away, and it's all based on his body language when he's speaking to you.
Remember that old saying, "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?" Turns out, this isn't just a saying, but rooted in truth. If a man finds you attractive, he will mimic your behavior. That means if you lean forward, he'll lean forward. If you hold his gaze, he'll hold it right back. Some studies even suggest that couples who have similar speech patterns find each other more attractive.
So what should you do on the date? Instead of sitting back in your chair and asking polite questions, if you're attracted or interested in a man, even just a little, it's a good idea to engage with him more through body language. So stop crossing your arms in front of you or averting your eyes to look at what's going on around you. Focus your attention on your date. Lean forward in your chair. Relax your arms. Laugh and smile, and then you can get an idea of his interest from whether or not he reciprocates.
Men respond more to cues and body language than to anything you might say. Remember, they are visual beings.
And men - remember that women also pay attention to your behavior, body language, and how you carry yourself. Studies indicate that women tend to imitate men if they perceive them to be in a position of high status. So yes, there's something to the stereotypes of women being attracted to confident and powerful men.
Body language aside, I think it's important to understand and engage with each other before making snap judgments about what your date is thinking or feeling. Instead, be open - ask questions and get to know someone instead of writing them off or becoming defensive. Remember, it's just one date - you don't have to see him or her again if you don't want to. But everyone deserves a chance.