Contributed by: kellyseal on Saturday, August 13 2011 @ 08:45 am
Last modified on
You've holed up in your house for the past three months, refusing party invitations and neglecting friends. You haven't wanted to be social...at all. You know that you should "get back out there," but you're still hurting from your recent break-up. How do you get past the pain and move on with your life?
Breaking up is not an easy experience. And depending on how long you were with your ex, it's a difficult thing to get used to being on your own again.
Whatever the case, your first order of business is taking care of yourself. If you're thinking about getting out there again, here are some tips to keep in mind:
Get together with good friends. Instead of cutting yourself off from your support network, now is an important time to reach out. Even if you lost touch with them during your relationship, you owe it to yourself to engage with them once again and let them know you're hurting. Your friends want to help you get through this.
Exercise. There's nothing like endorphins to help lift your mood. Instead of sitting in front of the TV, put on your jogging shorts or hiking boots and get outside. It's summer after all; the weather is nice and sunny and perfect for outdoor activities. Call a friend to go with you if you prefer company. Just get moving.
Don't be hard on yourself. It's easy to review old conversations again and again, but is it healthy? Instead of thinking of all the things you could have done or said differently, acknowledge that the relationship is over and you won't make the same mistakes in your next relationship. Being reflective is good so you can learn, but be sure not to wallow in regret.
Get out of town. I'm a big believer in the solo vacation, but if you prefer to gather your friends, go for it! A change of scenery helps you gain a different perspective, which is always helpful in moving on from relationships. So, take that trip you've always wanted. No time like the present.
Accept invitations. If a co-worker invites you to a happy hour gathering, instead of making excuses, stop by for an hour or so. Accept invitations to parties and dinners. The more you start to socialize and meet new people, the easier it becomes to make that transition and start to think about dating again.
Get a hobby. There's nothing like replacing one love for another. I'm not talking about finding a new girlfriend or boyfriend right away, but finding a new hobby that interests you or that you feel passionate about. Whether it's Italian cooking classes, mountain biking, or oragami, try something you've always been interested in and see where it leads. It will energize and uplift your spirits.