Contributed by: Jet on Wednesday, April 21 2010 @ 08:24 am
Last modified on
If someone tells me they've got an online dating profile, I don't bat an eye. Of course they do! If they're single, I all but expect it. It's just another sensible way to meet new people, after all. And to me – and most of the people I know – there is no stigma whatsoever.
It would appear that most of society is catching up as well – articles are published every day about the increasing number of online dating site memberships. However, there's always someone who falls a little behind the curve; someone who still thinks online dating is “weird” or “scary.” It's easy to ignore it when it's a parent or someone who's not even single; but what do we do when it's a single friend?
It's a fine line to walk. Resisting online dating for no good reason might seem ridiculous to someone who's been comfortable with the idea for a long time. At that point, it becomes easy to get overenthusiastic about online dating, to exert peer pressure or even use a condescending tone. Those are not the ways to convert anyone to anything. I have heard more than person say, “Online dating, ugh. Not a day goes by when there's not a friend bugging me about joining.”
It gets worse if your friend is newly single, or frustrated with the local dating scene; your friend might be feeling defensive or sensitive before the conversation even gets going. So how to promote online dating without becoming overwhelming?
In short, don't make online dating a big deal. It might be the best thing that's ever happened to you, but for someone who already has reservations, setting up online dating as something exotic and new – even in a positive sense – could make them shy away.
Simply mention in passing, “Well, this has been working for me, so there's another option.” You can give one or two sites that have worked for you, maybe offer to help them get started, nonchalantly – and that's it. If they're interested, they'll ask questions, sooner or later. Some people have to arrive at decisions in their own time. It's great to share what works for you, but giving a single friend some space, allowing the decision to be theirs, will make them more pro-active when they finally do decide to give online dating a try. And you will have avoided becoming the friend that bugs them.