Contributed by: ElyseRomano on Monday, August 02 2010 @ 11:29 am
Last modified on
Most people understand the importance of making a positive initial impression when meeting someone in person for the first time - but it amazes me how many people neglect every ancient nugget of wisdom they've heard about first impressions when it comes to online dating. You may not be shaking hands and making nervous eye contact with acquaintances you meet online, but that doesn't mean you're not leaving a make-it-or-break-it impression on your potential suitors.
Men tend to be saddled with a lot of the blame for the problems that plague the dating world - "He didn't have the guts to initiate a conversation!" "He wouldn't stop mentioning his ex!" "He kept bragging about how good he is in bed!" "He just seemed like a loser!" - but ladies, don't think that makes you innocent. You (yes, you!) are responsible too. Five of the biggest mistakes I've noticed women making online are:
Sexy usernames.
If "xxx" appears anywhere in your username, it's got to go. And no matter how sexy you are, the World Wide Web doesn't need to know that you're "h0t_4_U" or a "LustyBustyBaby." Sex sells, but where online dating is concerned, sex is only good at selling sex. Unless that's genuinely all you're looking for, rethink the way you present yourself in your profile.
Excessive punctuation and capitalization.
You might be "rEaLLY eXXXcITeD!!!!!" (see what I did there?) to try online dating for the first time, but there are definitely better ways to express it. This unnecessary assault on future dates' eyes doesn't make them think "Wow, this girl is super upbeat and has a really great outlook on life!" - it makes them think "Wow...this girl annoys me and I haven't even said 'hi' to her yet."
Doctored photos.
You're not deep because your profile photo is in black and white. You're not creative and artsy because you tested every filter that came with your brand new MacBook Pro on all of your pictures. If you've retouched your photos so much that other members can barely tell if you're a man or a woman, they're going to assume that you've got something to hide.
And while we're on the subject of photos...
Duck lips and peace signs.
Stop it. Just stop it.
Trying too hard.
Be funny, be honest, be approachable, and don't over-think your profile. Listing every obscure book you love and every band you listen to that only 8 other people have heard of (5 of whom are actually in the band) doesn't make you sound hip and intelligent, it makes you sound pretentious. Likewise, writing that you've still haven't removed the friendship bracelet your best friend gave you in kindergarten is cute, quirky, and memorable, while writing half of your profile in the language you and your BFF invented in kindergarten is just obnoxious.
Follow these five rules and you might be one of the lucky ladies who finds love online. At the very least, I won't be using your profile as a "Don't!" example in a future article, and that should be reason enough to heed my advice...