Contributed by: kellyseal on Friday, February 03 2012 @ 08:12 am
Last modified on
Looking for a long-term relationship can sometimes feel like a waiting game. While dating can be fun or surprising, you'd rather just stop wasting time and meet the right person already. It seems easier to be in a relationship than to be alone and looking.
I'm here to tell you to stop waiting and wanting and take advantage of this precious time of being single, because you never know when the right person will show up. Whether you're in between relationships, divorced or recently broken up, or brand new to the dating game, this is a time to pursue your own interests and focus your attention on yourself.
When we're in relationships, we often make plans around a partner's schedule, or make compromises to do things that matter to him as well as what we'd like to do. We spend more time together rather than alone. We're caught up in the feeling and bliss that comes with love. And then time goes by, and we didn't get to that thing we were hoping to do - we didn't make enough time for ourselves to really know who we are and what we like to do.
Instead of waiting around for your next relationship to happen, now is the time to enjoy your freedom and single status. Start making a list of all those things you've wanted to learn but never tried - whether it's surfing, writing, making crepes, playing guitar, or rock climbing. There's no limit to what you can learn, and being a beginner at something means that we can take a fresh look at ourselves and capabilities. We can practice and become good at something. We can expand our awareness. We can add to our history and become a more interesting person.
Is there something you're scared to try? Don't think about the criticism that might come with writing your own screenplay - just start writing. Want to learn ballet at your age? Buy a pair of ballet slippers and join a class. And if the activity requires a bit of bravery, think how proud you'll feel when you've done it. Skydiving? Fantastic. You certainly would be less inclined to take that kind of risk when you have a husband and three kids. And you likely won't have the time either. If there's something you've always thought about but have been putting it off for whatever reason, there's no time like the present. And it's a New Year. So go for it!
I advise that you make a list of all the activities you've thought about trying over the years. Mark the ones that really excite or scare you. Make a pledge to yourself to try at least one new activity a month. And make a pledge to treat yourself like you're in school again - a new student learning new things. Have the mindset of a beginner so you can really soak up the experience and learn something that could surprise you. And be open to learning new things about yourself - what you like and what you are capable of. Be a true beginner.