Contributed by: Jet on Sunday, May 13 2012 @ 08:20 am
Last modified on
By now, you’ve probably heard the oft-repeated mantra that you need to be pro-active in your online dating habits - that you should get out there and send first-contact emails instead of waiting for others to email you, that you should make sure your profile is current and updated. Well, those tips are all still valid. But there’s another way you can take charge of your online dating experience, and this one tends to slip through the cracks: online dating site auto-matching.
Chances are, the online dating site you choose to use brags about its matching algorithm - that magically, they know the secret formula for love, and by inputting your shoe size, favorite color, and name of your first pet, they can find your one true love. Well, when phrased like that, it seems silly, but it’s more difficult to be skeptical when you’re swarmed by statistics and reasonable-sounding promises.
The truth is, attraction between two people is not just as simple as common interests (I’m sure you can think of someone with whom you share much in common, but you still can’t stand) or political views. Most of that assessment needs to be done by only one party: you. Yes, ultimately you can’t be truly sure of chemistry until you meet in person; still, a human being scanning profiles can pick up on much more than a computer program. For example, how do you tell a match-up program that you’re interested in shy types? That you tend to clash with people who want to convert you to their choices, whether it’s a favorite TV show or a vegetarian diet?
The fact is, at this point we simply pick up on subtle hints and clues to compatibility far easier than a computer algorithm. “Fine,” you may be thinking, “I’ll just the site do the first round of eliminations, and then I’ll peruse the results.” That’s not a bad idea, as long as you don’t limit yourself to those results - because in fact, you might be very compatible with someone who doesn’t make the computer-based cut.
Online dating sites are designed to provide you with a wide pool of options to choose from. While narrowing down your options with a custom search can certainly help keep you from being overwhelmed, don’t forget about taking full advantage of the site’s capabilities - and that means “getting to know” someone, via reading their profile, that might be outside your box. And above all else, don’t sit back and let any site play matchmaker for you - it might be easier, but your laziness could allow potential matches to slip past unnoticed.