Contributed by: kellyseal on Monday, October 29 2012 @ 09:50 am
Last modified on
If first-date nerves make you come across as a totally different person than you'd like, then maybe it's time to try something different. Instead of making awkward small-talk and trying not to trip over yourself, would having a couple of friends around put you more at ease?
New York-based social site Grouper seems to think so. Now they've expanded their service to other cities, and have expanded their friendship-finding capabilities to the dating arena.
It works like this: when you go the the Grouper website, it links you back to your Facebook page to pull information about you - what your interests are, your photos, etc. (Don't worry, your Facebook friends won't find out you joined - that information is kept private unless you want to share.) At this point, you choose two friends to be your wingmen (or wingwomen). Then you are asked some basic questions, to rate on a silding scale. For example, would you rather go to a dive bar or a fancy club or some place between those two? Would you rather talk about "Jersey Shore" or philosophy or something in the middle?
Then comes the interesting part: Grouper uses its technology to match you, but you have to wait a couple of weeks because they also say their staff personally oversees matches as well. And they do the heavy-lifting to coordinate the meeting between all six of you. They throw out a few dates and times, pick a central location to meet, and voila - the group date is set. (I like that Grouper tells you where to meet because it takes the pressure off of planning the first date.)
Michael Waxman, the site's founder, claims Grouper is more effective because "when you're with your friends, you're going to behave more comfortably and naturally. There aren't any labels or expectations."
Group dates are an interesting concept. In my experience, it's an indication that one or both parties want to keep things casual, with no expectations. It's less about dating and more about hanging out, no strings attached. But for people who are new to dating, haven't done it in a while, or just get too nervous to act comfortably one-on-one with a date, this provides an interesting alternative, and one that could work out very well. (Besides, your friends could vouch for you, too.)
If you've been looking for something different, or if you want to work up to trying online dating, this might be a good way to begin. After all, your friends are there to help you, even with your love life.