Contributed by: Jet on Tuesday, November 06 2012 @ 10:20 am
Last modified on
When filling out a new online dating profile, many people get hung up on something that’s probably intended to be simple: filling out the sections that describe themselves. I’m not talking about writing a self-summary; I’m talking about selecting those buttons that describe you in words you probably wouldn’t use yourself. Take body type, for example: are you “slim” or “average”? “Curvy” or “a few extra pounds”? What if you’re curvy and slim, or weigh a few pounds over the norm but you’re a solid wall of muscle? When almost every answer feels like it should have an additional explanation, filling out those sections can be exhausting.
So what’s the answer? Simply put, don’t get too stressed out about it. First, think about how you read the profiles of others; do you pay more attention to the bullet points and stats, or the prose and pictures? Most people are probably going to get to those bullet points last, or give them a brief skim before moving on.
The real importance of those stats is in the search results. If you set your preference to find someone who’s “average,” someone with “a few extra pounds” might be missing out. So if you’re really wrestling between two ways of describing yourself, perhaps it’s better to choose the one that might bring more sets of eyes to your profile.
Now, to be clear, it’s not recommended that you outright lie. And if you do, you probably won’t get much further; when you list Southern BBQ and steakhouses as your favorite cuisine but say you’re a vegetarian to get hits from in-shape veggies, the truth is going to be apparent sooner or later. And no one will be amused at having been lied to.
But if you’re torn between being brutally honest with yourself and being generous (you might be a “couch potato” some days, but your goal is to “exercise moderately”), you’re not hurting anyone by being kind. The rest of the profile, the emails, and finally the dates in-person are what will ultimately decide your compatibility; those stats are just another way to bring likely matches to your attention.
And remember: even if you don’t match every stat exactly, you still might pop up in a search. So don’t sweat over each individual question; is that time better spent quibbling over which button to click, or doing a once-over proofread? A profile is just a small part - a way to say hello - of the dating process, and a tiny bullet point should be even less of a worry.